A Past Life, Never Fully There
by Tyler-Shae
Summary: Adommy!Adam Lambert and Tommy Joe met before. when they were young. Has Tommy always been as questionable as he is today? Adam lambert/ Tommy Joe Ratliff


A/N Way past Adam and Tommy. Early 20s long time ago J Enjoy. Reviews make me uB**er **

**happy!**

**Why am I so Fucking ugly? I grimaced at myself in the mirror as I was getting ready for my 21****st**** birthday my friends were having for me at some bar. I hate bars. I remember being 18 and being so excited to go to a bar for the first time. Hook up with some Hot guy, maybe get him to buy me a drink, maybe a little more. The hot dreams soon came crashing down after rejection and rejection, numerous and countless times. I am untouchable. **

" **Adam!" My friend Kary was calling for me. " Come on! You don't want to be late to your own birthday party!" She pounded on the door. I sat on the toilet seat and ignored her, holding my stomach. I pouch on the sink caught my eye.**

**It was Kary's little pouch of make up. Eyeliner, Eye shadow, Lip Gloss, and **_**Glitter**_**.**

**I had never really worn makeup before except for theater, and being on stage and stuff. I had never thought about wearing it off the stage. I picked up the pouch and rummaged thru it.**

**Well I am always my most confident when I'm onstage. Maybe I should give it a try.**

**I pulled out the Eyeliner pencil and applied it dark, admiring myself I decided it was too dark and tried to wipe it off unsuccessfully. It smeared. I looked back at myself ready to kick myself for trying to put makeup on myself, but I found myself smiling. **_**it looks good like that.**_

**I dapped my finger in the grey eye shadow gently rubbing it on my eyes. I stepped back again. **_**nice**_**. I decided to skip over the lip gloss and picked up the glitter. I poured a small handful into my hand and stared at it before tossing it in the air and letting it fall on my hair and face, I giggled to myself and looked at the sparkly me. **_**I think I'm ready to go out now**_**.**

**I felt extra confident when I walked in the door to the bouncing gay bar. I even hit on a guy I thought was hot, but same as always I was shot down and my confidence began to wither and a let myself slip to the corner of the bar where no one sat.**

**My friends bought me drinks that I didn't touch. They sang to me and hugged me wishing my happy birthday. I smiled back. But none of them could understand how lonely I was feeling. They sat with me for awhile, each of them trying to cheer me up. One by one they left me for some cute guy that wanted THEM.**

**I sat in my seat for what felt like a hour alone. I stared at the beer one of my friends had apparently bought for me until finally someone sat don beside me. **

**He was blonde, he was cute, he was a little chubby like me, but his face was adorable. He had a little bit of facial hair under his bottom lip, and he was smiling at me.**

" **I've been watching you, you seem sad. Is something wrong?" He looked straight at me. Not past me like he was trying to just talk to me so he could stand close to some hotty behind me. **

" **umm No, nothing. I'm fine. Just a little down I guess." I gave him a small smile.**

" **You sure. You look like you're about to murder your beer." He laughed a little, which made me laugh.**

_**A cute guys actually talking to you Adam, fucking make conversation you asshole!**_** I Shook my head vigorously and completely turned all my attention to the man. **

" **So what's your name?" I ask**

" **Tommy." He replies holding his hand out to shake mine. " Tommy Joe Ratliff."**

**I shook his hand. " I'm Adam. Adam Mitchel Lambert." I laughed and leaned my elbows on the table smiling at Tommy.**

" **So what brings you here?" He asks looking at the crazy dancing crowd. **

" **My friends brought me here, for a party, It's my birthday." I finally started feeling a little excitement towards my birthday and started bouncing a little in my seat.**

" **Happy Birthday!" He pats my back. **

**I look down at the table and smile trying to hide the fact that I'm blushing.**

" **So what brings YOU here? Mr. Tommy Joe Ratliff?" I found myself scooting a little closer to Tommy, and found to my dismay him scoot away a little bit.**

" **Umm.. My Friend Jeff. He's gay, He just came out to everyone and he wanted to go somewhere celebrate. So me and my Girlfriend Tammy made plans to bring him here…"**

" **Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend? Like just a friend or?…"**

" **My Girlfriend, Yeah. You know couple. Just like You would Have a boyfriend." He laughed a little then stopped obviously seeing my face drop.**

" **Oh." Is all I can muster as tears began to work up in my eyes.**

" **You didn't think I was… No. Hey I'm sorry! I'm so stupid. I'm in a gay bar, of course you thought… I'm sorry." He shook his head and tried to meet my gaze which I had completely dropped. " We can still be friends though."**

**I looked at him for a split second, saw how cute and sorry he looked and I burst into tears. "The one time I think some guy is taking any interest in me at all and it turns out he's fucking straight! My luck! My fucking Luck!" I buried my head in my elbows and I cried.**

**Tommy Patted my back. " I'm sorry! I shouldn't even came over here! It's just you looked so sad over here all by yourself, and Jeff had totally ditched me for some guy and Tammy, she had some school work and left like 20 minutes ago, so I cam over here to talk to you. I should of told you I was straight. He if I wasn't straight… Dude, If I were gay.. I'd totally be banging you right now…"**

**I looked up at Tommy, I had completely stopped crying, tho the tears were still wet on my face. I looked at him for five seconds and I burst out laughing.**

" **You're silly!" I said laughing into Tommy's shoulder. **

**Tommy smiled, thrilled I had stopped crying.**

" **So I guess were friends now?"**

" **Yes, I'd say so."**

**Hours went by and countless drinks were drunk. We were both drunker then either of us had ever been. I convinced Tommy to dance with my for awhile, which was a giggling mess, which ended with him falling into my chest, making me realize for the first time how much taller then him I was.**

" **What's it like?" Tommy asked when we had both sat back down and had stopped laughing.**

" **What's what like?"**

" **To be with another guy? What's that like?"**

**I swirled my beer around a little bit and snorted, only my drunked head could find it funny.**

" **I don't know."**

" **But you're gay! You have to know!"**

" **A virgin wouldn't. which is what I am." I laughed and Tommy stared at me sadly. He fluttered his eye lashes a bit and stuttered out something like a apology.**

" **Oh no! That's not cool. We should… we should fix. Fix that Adam! Who wants to be a virgin at 21! Nobody! I mean I'm 22 and I've been having sex since I was 15. Never with a guy." He stopped and looked up into his head like he was trying to remember if he had or not. " No defiantly not. But still. As I was saying. You shouldn't be a virgin!"**

" **Well I am Tommy! Sorry."**

**I lifted my beer to take another swig but Tommy's hand kept my arm down. He leaned in and kissed me.**

" **No, Adam, You shouldn't be."**


End file.
